I had this huge, long post all written about my One Word for 2012. I spent a fair amount of time pondering my word and thinking about what I wanted it to look like in my life this year. I was certain this was my word. I chose it, so it just had to be my word. But all the while I was typing and pondering, another word kept edging its way into my mind. It was calling my name:
I thought my word for this year was Believe. But no. Be Present kept calling my name. It's been written on my heart for months now. Being present is tough one for me. I know it shouldn't be - I have one young child who will be 18 and off to college before I know it - but it is. There, I said it. (Isn't admitting you have a problem the first step?...) Everyday I have choices. And so this year these are my choices:
Be Present with Max. Spend active time with my son. He won't be at home forever. I need to make memories for the both of us now.
Be Present with my friends and family. This means putting aside the distractions. Who's more important? The person I'm playing Words with Friends with? Or checking FB or Flickr? OR the person I'm having a nice cup of coffee with? The person sitting across from me.
Be Present in the health of my body. Stop putting off trying to lose weight and get in shape, and just start doing it. Lace-up my shoes and walk or run. Go to another pilates class. Try yoga. Do something.
Be Present in my photography. I spend more time feeling frustrated and wishing I could take pictures like all the other photographer friends I know, and so I give-up. I must pick-up my camera if I'm ever going to get those pretty pictures. I just need to keep snapping.
Be present in my life. This is a hard one for me to explain... I hide behind a lot of things - TV, books, my computer, my phone. I hide behind these as a way of not having to face my life. I've always had a picture of what my life was supposed to look like, and when the picture doesn't mesh with reality (and it never does, right?) I tend to escape or push it to the nether-regions of my mind. If I ignore it, it will go away, right? (I know the answer to that one...) I also spend far too much time ruminating the past and worrying about the future. I've always been like this. So, I need to be an active participant in creating my journey. This journey that was artful crafted by Him.