40 things about me.

I thought I'd share 40 things about me since I turned 40 back at the end of June. Some you've heard before I am sure.

1. I like my margaritas on the rocks with a lot of salt.
2. I used to play the clarinet, the flute and the piano. And I used to sing in my church choir. And I went to band camp.
3. A few of my favorite CDs: Tapestry - Carole King, Lead Me On - Amy Grant, Greatest Hits Vols 1 - James Taylor, anything Alison Krauss and anything John Mayer and anything David Wilcox.
4. I don't like big change. AT. ALL.
5. The best birthday gift I've ever received was getting to have lunch on my actual birthday with my best friend, Stacey, while she was in the midst of fighting a battle with melanoma. I got to see her one last time before she died two months later. I don't think any gift I ever receive will top that.
6. I was a campus tour guide at the University of Washington. It was fun! Though it fills me with a crazy amount of anxiety to think of doing that now.
7.  I think some people are good at their hobby and some are given a true gift. How it all pans out - I don't know. But I hope someday I discover that I have a true gift for something.
8. Being laid-off twice was a bit of a blessing in disguise. I don't take any job overly serious anymore. I mean I'm still a hard worker, but I don't let work own me. Too many people let work own and define them. It's kinda sad. I know that I'm just a wheel in the cog of the big machine. It's given me a healthy perspective on work and what really matters in life. Work may make you think you're big stuff and they can't live without you, but they can. Believe me, they can replace you in a heartbeat.
9. If I could go back to any one of my past jobs, I'd choose to go back to my very first job out of college - Program Coordinator for the University of Washington School of Medicine's Continuing Medical Education Department (now there's a mouthful!) If I was still there, I'd likely be Director by now.
10. My favorite holiday is the Fourth of July, which is also my brother's birthday. :) Second favorite is Halloween - mostly because I love fall.
11. I used to love the Christmas season until I worked retail. Retail killed the holidays for me.
12.  If I could live anywhere in the world I'd move right on back to lovely Kirkland or Redmond, Washington.
13. If I could go back to school (and money/school loans was no issues) I'd get my Pharm.D.
14. I'd do Botox and get a little filler done in a heartbeat. Apparently I'm getting vain in my old age.
15. One thing about parenthood that drives me bonkers is the inability to have a conversation with my husband or pretty much any other adult without being interrupted by Max a million times. Bonkers!!
16. I think it's important for every person to find that one thing they do solely for him or her self. That thing that makes you feel just like you. Not as mom or wife or sister or friend or worker, but as you. Without that one thing that fills you you'll always have a little empty spot in your life, regardless of all the other things you do.
17. As I've gotten older my faith in all things has slowly disintegrated. There's not much left - little bits and pieces in crumbs, in my hands. I'm trying to hold on to them. But at this point it would be far easier to brush the crumbs off and move on. I always thought my faith would grow as I did, but it hasn't. My faith has slowly crumbled.
18. I believe there are two types of friends that come into our life - the ones that are forever, sister friends, and the ones that teach you something about yourself and your life and then move on.
19. I could live on guac and chips in the summertime. Heck! Anytime!
20. One of the best pieces of advice a friend ever gave me: when trying to make a decision, do whatever is going to be harder to do. At first it doesn't sound like it makes much sense, but in the end it really does. I think we spend a lot of time taking the easy way out, so-to-speak. Sometimes the good stuff in life takes a crap-load of hard work and some pain and suffering. Of course, I'm still working on this one. It isn't easy.
21. I'm recorded on vinyl along with the rest of the Rose Hill Junior High band.
22. One of the greatest and simplest gifts you can give anyone you care about in life is your time and a listening ear. We were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. All any of us wants is to be heard.
23. I love the fall and rain and clouds and wind. I love a good stormy day.
24. I'm an excessive worrier, dweller on the past, and ruminator.
25. I care far too much what other people think of me. Way too much. I have to remind myself to just let it all go sometimes. The real, true loving people in my life will always come find me. The rest can just fall away - and that's okay.
26. I love real mail - cards, hand-written letters, packages.
27. I love my dog, Sammy Sue, and could sit cuddled on the couch with her for a very long time. She has the softest ears - like velvet.
28. I'm an introvert through and through, to the core.
29. Some things that you experience in life just permanently change you. They happen and then there's the "before the event" you and the "after the event" you. And no matter how much you might try - you can't go back to the "before the event" you.
30. Motherhood is by far the hardest job I have and will ever have.
31. I pretty much worry that I'm failing as a mother everyday.
32. Max is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Nothing will ever top having him.
33. I cry a lot more now that I'm getting older. Maybe it's hormones...
34. I clean when I'm angry or feeling guilty. It's like doing penance or something.
35. I swear the most when I drive. I wouldn't say I have road rage, but bad drivers annoy the heck out of me.
36. If you asked me to name one thing I'm really awesome at I'd say school/college.
37. I'm not sure what my life would look like if photography wasn't part of it.
38. If I could make a decent living doing it, I'd be a graphic designer.
39. Making chit-chat with people I don't know at parties fills me with crazy amounts of anxiety. I really kind of dread doing it. Oh, let's just be honest - I kinda of hate it.
40. If I had to describe my life in two words I would say, "Lucky me."