magnolia.

I had a nice little post all ready to share for this fine Friday.
But I'm just not feeling it today...not even this week... And I'm not going to attempt to fake it today. I don't have the energy. And you fine friends of mine deserve more than me faking it. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm worried, I'm questioning. And all I really care about is making it through the day so I can rest in the comfort of my retreat when I feel this way - which is my bed. Sleep is my escape. And if I could, right now, I'd sleep this whole weekend away. Far, far away.
But that's not an option.
So, I will have to make do with the little things. Like this song, Magnolia, by Ellie Holcomb. Seems that I always find a little solace in the craziest of places (I was on iTunes downloading a Lady GaGa song for my son), just when I need it. And I can usually find a song to sum-up just how I'm feeling on any given day. This song says it all today.

Enjoy your weekend, friends.

two ladybugs & a doodlebug.

A couple of weeks ago while out on the back deck, Max found a ladybug. Or I should say, a ladybug found Max. She crawled over his hands and up his arm, took a few turns checking out my hands as well. With camera in hand I had headed down to the backyard to shoot some photos of Maggie and Max later came down with his ladybug. She was apparently in no rush to head home.



They were both exploring the other.

The cute thing about this all is that my latest nickname for Max is Doodlebug and his new nickname for me is Ladybug. So there we were - the Doodlebug with his ladybug while his Ladybug snapped a few photos.

{Picture Inspiration Week 18 - Exploration. I'm sloowwly catching-up...}

i heart faces: pet week

Of course Pet Week over at I Heart Faces occurs right after we loose our dear, sweet Mags. Luckily, I had plenty of photos to choose from from her last few days with us. And yes, you've seen this one just a few posts back...

{miss you, Maggie Lou...sigh...}

Now go check out all the cute furry faces at I Heart Faces this week.

tgif! {24 hours.}

Eric took Max camping Tuesday night. They went with Eric's childhood best friend (who happens to live just five minutes from us) and his  seven year old daughter. They camped near Mt. St. Helens somewhere (bad mom - I didn't know exactly where they were staying...) They left at about 11am Tuesday and were gone exactly 24 hours. Dare I say how much I loved every minute of those 24 hours?...I mean I'm a mom and wife, right? And I'm supposed to love being mom and wife first and foremost, every single day, right?...maybe not all the time...

So here are a few things I realized about my time sans men:

1. I loved not having to spend a minute of my time walking around toys and cleaning-up toys. Toys were cleaned-up Monday night and they stayed put till Wednesday when Max got home.

2. I SOOO did not miss the "mom talk." You know what I mean, right? The same 30 or so phrases that you repeat over and over each day. Examples from my life:
"Please flush the toilet! And then pull up your pants and wash your hands!"
"Go sit down and eat!"
"No more Goldfish. If you are that hungery that you want more then I'll make you lunch/dinner."
"Please use your napkin to wipe your face."
"I'm on the phone - you need to be patient and wait till I get off."
"You need to pick-up your toys before you go to bed or the ones left on the floor are mine."
"Brush your teeth! Don't just eat the toothpaste."
"Pick your books and get in bed."
"Get in bed!"
"Just a minute!"
Just a small sampling of the things I say over and over...

3. I loved hopping in the car and running my errands in a quick and timely manner. In and out. OR... linger and browse. It was my decision.

4. Loved every minute of sipping my iced latte outside, in the sun (with a nice breeze I might add) just enjoying the quiet.

5. No bathtime. Need I say more?

6. I didn't have to make dinner for anyone but lil old me! LOVE! And leftover Tuscan bean soup was just lovely, nuked with a little grated parmesan cheese.

7. I had the couch and the TV all to myself. All. Day. Of course I didn't sit infront of it all day (there really is nothing worthwhile on till after 8pm anyway.) But I could have sat there all day if I wanted to. It's all about having options available, friends. I did sit on the couch and read and look at magazines and watch a little TV that night.

8. I stayed-up late, reading in bed. And then I slept-in till 9:30. (Ok, so I was actually awake around 8:30, but there was no way I was getting out of bed till after 9!)

9. I was reminded that I really, truly love having the whole bed to myself. Really. I could stretch-out and find the "cool" areas of the sheets whenever needed. I had all of the pillows to myself. It was lovely...

10. I loved the quite of my day. So nice...

11. Last, but not least...my 24 hours alone wasn't quite the same without my Mags to follow me around and keep me company. She was always my security system when Eric was out of town. It was a little weird to be completely alone.

Let me just be honest here and say that I probably could have gone a full week alone before I really started missing them deep, down in my bones. For 24 hours I was just Andrea. Not mom. Not wife. Just me. It was great. It was much needed.

And the men came back promptly at 11am.
Super dirty and smelling like a campfire.
And I was so, so happy to see my little man and hear all about his fun 24 hours.

{All photos courtesy of my husband. Stolen off his FB page. Thanks, Dear.}

Happy Friday, friends!
A.

maggie monday. {a little closure}

These were the photos I knew I just had to take. Not even a full day after she was gone. The sun was shining, Max was at day camp for the morning and I had gotten a call that flowers had been dropped-off at the house. So I came home, saw her collar sitting in my husband's office, grabbed my camera and headed out on the deck where just days earlier I had taken some photos of her. It was hard to do, but somehow picking-up my camera and taking these photos brought some closure (well, a little bit...)

The house seems a little bit empty. There's no one to sit under Max's chair at the table and clean-up his crumbs. No dog to let-out before we head upstairs to bed. No wagging tail to greet me when I come home. No need to put food far out of her reach on the counter. No bark when the doorbell rings... All the little things you take for granted {and maybe even drive you crazy some days} when you have a dog become such big voids when they are gone. I'm sure it'll take months to get used to her absence.

When I started my Maggie Monday posts way back in February we had known for about three months that she had cancer. And she was getting up there in years. I wanted to honor her in some small way - Maggie Mondays was perfect because she always brought a smile to my face, even on Mondays. And when I started this blog she was my best muse - she sat still, would look at me if I said just the right word {cookie}, she got some extra attention and I got some photography practice. We were the perfect team. And I'm quite certain that soon enough I will have another furry, four-legged muse to team-up with.

Until then...well, doing this last Maggie Monday post brings just a little bit more closure.

{And a big thank you to all of you who left such sweet comments and emailed. You are all too kind.} 


{Since last Thursday Max has had a lot of questions about Maggie's death and dying in general. Over the weekend when he saw her collar he asked, "How will Jesus know her name if she doesn't have her collar?" Oh my sweet, sweet boy... We assured him that Jesus would know her name and would have a brand new collar for sweet Mags to wear when she got to Heaven.  This collar was ours to keep to remember her by.}

{happiness is...}

...a boy loving his dog.

{Picture Inspiration week 21 - From the Heart}

tgif! {very late edition}

my week in phone photos.

1. pb & h  2. rock on dudes! 3. holding hands

4. shadows 5. Mags 6. sunshine

7. empty dog bed 8. decaf vanilla nonfat latte 9. skinny legs

the end of an era.

This was the day that I knew would eventually arrive at my doorstep...

Not sure I have the words to express how I feel just yet. I think the tears I shed today say it all.

She will be deeply missed. She was the epitome of unconditional love and a loyal companion.

And as one friend so aptly stated: it's the end of an era.

I love you Maggie Lou.
Miss you...

{I will have more to say later - when I've composed my thoughts & have stopped crying.} 

maggie monday.

She rested in the evening light while listening to her "dad" and "little brother" play t-ball.

She soaked it all in - warm sun, nice breeze, the scents of summer. A perfect doggie evening.

I marvled at her ability to just "be." She was perfectly content in the moment.

I could learn a thing or two from this wise old lady.

so far behind...

You've heard me say it before, and I'm saying it again - I'm SO far behind on my Picture Inspiration project. Like, weeks behind. So far behind I thought about bagging it altogether. But I won't...

Here is week 23. Organic lines. Taken when I was in the Colorado Rockies. Love the perfect curve of the landscape against the sky.

Hopefully I'll get my tush in gear and get weeks 17-21 & 24 accomplished. Soon.

things to come.

It's 10:30 on a Friday night and I really don't have a lot to say. My heart is a little heavy with thoughts of things to come next week. So tonight I will let this photo speak for me. I saw that little maple leaf laying on the grass on a bright, summer's day and was reminded that fall is just around the corner. Soon days will grow shorter, nights longer. The leaves will begin to turn and float gracefully from the trees. And while I'm just beginning to enjoy the summer and our (finally) warm weather, I know it will come to an end. Seasons must change. As hard as it might be for this little heart to bear.

for Stacey...

For my best friend, Stacey, on what would have been her 39 birthday.

Please watch. And feel free to re-post.

Dear 16 year old me,

If I knew then what I know now:

I would not have used tanning beds to get that glow or try to get a "base" tan before going on vacation.

I would not have used baby oil to bake in the sun.

I would not have spent hours trying to get a dark tan, which my pale skin was never meant to have.

I would have applied sunscreen daily, even on the cloudy days.

I would have covered up and sought shade.

And while it may be 22 years later, I now vow to wear my sunscreen, to slather it on my son, to nag my husband to wear it even though he may get tired of the nagging.

I vow to cover-up and take cover if I can.

I vow to teach my son that while the sun is nice, too much of it is a very bad thing.

I vow to keep the memory of my dear friend, Stacey, alive.

Dear 16 year old me - You are smart. You are beautiful. You are dedicated. And you are loved.

Never forget that. And don't let anyone ever tell you different.

XOXO - Me.

{happiness is...}

Ice cream after a fun, sunny Monday.









Good to the last drop.



(Yes, that's a huge, white dog hair on the bottom of his ice cream bowl that belongs to Maggie's friend, Scuba.)
(And no, I didn't change my name. That's my maiden name which became my middle name when I got married.)
(All images SOOC.)