Thursday, October 27, 2011

i don't...

#fromwhereistand with spiderman

A few of my blogging buddies have posted some lists of what they "don't do." I couldn't help but join in the fun and give you a little insight into me and what I don't do.

I don't do crowds. I have zero patience for crowds. None. Nada. Zip. My horrible, rude side comes out in crowds. You don't want to see it. (Photo above was from our small town's trick or treat day called Boo Bash. It was INsane. I was happy we weren't there long.)

I don't do early mornings. I will do early mornings if I have to go to work (though I am chronically late), am heading to the airport to get on a plane for vacation, or I hear a crying baby over the monitor who needs mommy. And even in all of these instances, I don't do early mornings with a happy face.

I don't drive continuously in the far left lane on the freeway. I do drive in the far right lane (my preference) and occasionally the middle lane. This way I know I have an "out" (the right shoulder of the road) if something unexpected happens. All those folks in the far left lane have no easy "out." They are surrounded by cars on both sides, and some of them are coming at you at those high speeds those left-hand-lane-drivers like to drive at with only a barrier between them and oncoming traffic (if that.) (A bit of my crazy logic...)

I don't drive other peoples' cars. Not even my parents' cars. Unless you are in desperate need of a trip to the ER (in which case I will likely just call 911), don't offer me your car (though it is very nice of you to offer!) or hand me the keys to drive. (And if you are too drunk to drive, I'll call you a cab.)

I don't do shots, so save your money and don't order me a shot if we happen to go out - unless you don't mind taking an extra shot. I do vodka & 7 with a lime though. And just about any other vodka drink.

I don't do mascara unless I'm going out. Everything else - I do. (Though I'm not quite sure why. Who am I trying to impress at 38?...)

I don't do bikes. (Except for those ten minutes I was on one last summer at the beach.) I do like to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, thankyouverymuch.

I don't swim. I took plenty of lessons as a kid and was even on the swim team for about 6 months, but I am terrified of water and really can't swim. I do enjoy sitting by the pool with a good book and an adult beverage!

I don't do yard work solely because of the bees, wasps, and hornets. I am that lady who panics if they come anywhere near me.

I don't talk on the phone. Though I will talk on the phone to my parents and husband. I do love to text! (But not while driving!)

I don't host parties for friends to sell things. I have done them in the past and hardly anyone comes and I have vowed to never do them again. Ever.

I don't host parties, period. Too much work.

I don't wear dresses (or skirts or shorts). I will put on a dress if I have to for a special occasion.

I don't do high heels. I have plenty of them, but I'm a disaster trying walk in them.

I don't eat seafood. I will eat salmon and tuna fish though. Odd, huh?

I don't pick-up doggie "doo" unless my husband isn't around to pick it up for me.

I don't organize things well. I try, but it usually becomes more of a mess in the end. Good example - my "office" - still a mess after moving in 7.5 years ago.

I don't clip coupons. I have tried to do the coupon thing, but I end up clipping them and they sit in my purse and I totally forget to use them and then they expire.

I don't do ironing. Oh wait, yes I do. I just wish I could not have to iron ever again.

I don't light matches. I will use one of those propane lighter thingys, but those tiny matches? Too scary.  My parents never had to worry about me burning down the house when I was little.

I don't do nausea at.all. Seriously, I can't even begin to think or function or talk or sleep or sit still if I feel even a tiny bit sick. Instead, I pace. Weird, huh?. I do pop a Zofran at the first inklings of nausea.  It's good to have a neighbor friend as your doctor. ;)

I don't do wool sweaters. I want to -  I really do. They looks so cozy and warm and cute on those J.Crew models. But they are just WAY to itchy for my sensitive skin.

I don't do fake. What you see is what you get. I am not good at putting on the happy face because that's what's expected of me (though I will do it if the circumstance calls for such a thing.)

I have rambled on and on...but now you know what I don't do. Maybe I'll post a list of what I really LOVE to do sometime. Wouldn't that be even more interesting? :-)

{Oh boy! This list is lonnggg. I'm going to have to make a longer "What I love to do" list to make-up for this one. ha!}


Stacey said...

I love your list!

I so don't do crowds or parties either. I am hosting one of those parties to sell things for the first time ever for my neighbor as a favor in a few weeks just to be nice. I'm too nice. And I hope a few people show up. It terrifies me that noone will show up.

I love seafood, but I'm not a huge fan of tuna.

I so do not do wool sweaters either. I have learned I'm much happier if I'm comfortable.

And I don't do fake either. Real is good. :-) That's what I like about you. :-)

Anonymous said...

I don't do fake either. In face just tonight when discussing an extended family drama I said to my husband "I just can't pretend, it's not me." :)

I also like Vodka drinks.

And I wish I liked wool sweaters, too.

I totally dig your list. :)

Wendy said...

I LOVE this!!!

And I think you and I are twins because your donut's are mine, too! Except for the driving ones...I'm a left lane driver. But only because I can't stand being late!! Or being inefficient!

I may have to do one of these lists one day. Just to give it to my husband, lol!!

Marvett Smith said...

So fun this list is! Love getting to know you better. I don't do crowds, and I don't do seafood. Swedish fish and goldfish crackers are the only seafood entering my mouth! :) Oh yeah, and my favorite. I don't do fake either, so we will get along very well my friend!

Brooke said...

I am with you on soooo many of these, Girl!!!
Great post.