Work. (Long post ahead. You've been warned.)
So many thoughts on work - the work I used to do, the work I currently do at home, and the work I will do again someday when I go back out into the workforce.
The work I used to do - I earned a BA and an MA only to end-up working a string of admin jobs I wasn't happy with. And I do know that someday when I go back to the work world I will not go back to being an admin. As Bush would say, "Not gonna do it." I served my time as an admin answering phones and making copies.
The work I currently do - I'm a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) I am so very lucky to be able to stay home with Max, especially during these early, formative years. My mother stayed home with my brother and me, and I can't imagine my childhood any differently. I knew I wanted that for my child even before I was pregnant. Being home all day, everyday, and working 24/7 is tough. Toughest job I've ever had. Hands down. I struggle with being a SAHM. I won't lie. After my maternity leave, I went back to work for a little over a month and then quit to stay home. I was 99% sure I was going to stay home, but I needed to go back just to be sure. I needed to try doing double duty before I just left the work world. Part of me wishes I had just kept working. Or at least found something part-time. I miss the intellectual stimulation. A ton. I don't miss the work, but I miss really using my brain. I don't mean to say SAHMs don't use their brains. No way. We use our brains alright! We are always "on." But I think you all know what I mean. I long for challenge and deadlines and meetings. My mom was a SAHM who slowly earned her BA in Business over an eight year time-frame. Then she found a job when I was in Junior High and worked until I was finished with my MA. I remember her telling me that she loved staying home with us kids, but that there was something differently rewarding about being part of the workforce; about being part of something "bigger". It was a "something" that was worlds apart from the work of nurturing and teaching little ones. I get that now. I can't put it into words, but I now know exactly what she was talking about. Don't get me wrong though - I know I made the right choice staying home with Max. I can't imagine any of it playing out any differently really, even though I day-dream about what it might have looked like if I had kept working. I know my limits, and trying to balance a family and working outside the home would have put me over the edge.
I love my job. I love waking-up to my Max alarm clock. I love that I got to see most of his "first" in life. I love that I've been able to watch him grow and learn on a daily basis. I love that because I've been there every day, he knows he can always count on me. I even love that he comes to get me in the middle of the night (even though it drives me CRAZY!!) I love that I know him better than anyone else because of all of the time we've spent together.
The work I will do again someday - My dream would be to go back to school and get a degree in "fill-in-the-blank" once Max is in school full-time. Pharmacy tech? Nursing? Phlebotomy?...I don't know for sure. I know I've always been fascinated by the medical world. If there was a way to write any college paper about something in the medical world, I did it. My Master's Thesis was all about the emotion management of medical students and how that shapes the doctor-patient relationship. (Want to read a copy of that bad-boy just let me know and I'll mail you a copy!) And then at some point I would like to be working again, doing something that intrigues me. I want to be one of those people who loves what they do. I don't mean in the sense that you love going to work each and everyday, and the long hours. But the person who really is passionate about what they are doing. My husband is a good example. He works construction (construction management) and loves that he gets to build things. He's built bridges, and marine facilities, and now light-rail. Sure, the long hours and endless meetings and changing deadlines and travel get to him, but he honestly loves what he does. (He just wishes he didn't have to work the long hours.) That's a rarity these days.
But right now all that really matters to me is that I love what I do now. I never really refer it as "work" because it isn't really (even though people always remind me that I actually do work when I mention that I don't work.)
Being a mom or a dad isn't a "job." It's not just a series of tasks to be checked off a list: dinner - check. bath - check. teeth brushed - check. diaper changed - check.
Being a mom is the privilege of a lifetime. It's an experience that will last a lifetime if you really lean into it and absorb it all - good and bad.
Being a mom is like love at first sight every.single.day.
52 Linked 2012 A new theme every week.
A few other friends are joining-in on the adventure.
Please stop by and see their interpretations of our word of the week.
Michelle, Tracey, Stacey, Heather, Jenn, Jessica, Amanda, Amanda, Kristin, Sara, Tracy, Lesli, Janet, Naomi, Rhonda, Rose, Carla, Heidi, Kristin, Heather, Amy, Liza, and Veronica.