silly girl.

More from this family session to come...

where i am...

In case you are wondering where I am...
You can find me here for now: www.nowordsjustpictures.blogspot.com
Just some lovely photos...or what I think are lovely photos anyway.
You can follow me. Or not.
Comment. Or not.
But that's where you'll find me hanging out.
I've got nothing to say right now, but still sharing some photos.

52 portraits: two

leaving.

I am leaving this space for now.
I might be back someday. I'm not sure.
Thank you all for all of the wonderful comments on my photos and words over the past (almost) two years.
I will still be posting my portrait series from time to time.
But for now...I don't really feel like I have anything to say  here anymore.
So I'll say thank you, and see you in the blogosphere for now.
xo
a

52 portraits: one

I'm unabashedly copying this great idea from Erika Ray.
He's my one and only. My first and my last.
And I need to capture his cuteness every week.

(That's his "last photo, please?!" face in that last shot.)

the painter.

A blank canvas. Some paint. 

The artist hard at work.

Oh how I love my creative boy.


(And yes, the header has disappeared from my blog...oy vey....) 
(And yes, these are my Linked 52 photo for this week of "color")

little miss lazy.

I love her.
So, so much.
Who knew I'd love dogs so much?...
She's so soft and sweet.
With one ear always at attention and one ear relaxed.
She's lazy. She even answers to the name lazy.
She's my dog alright...likes to lay around and snooze, preferably in the sun.
She has a hard time getting up at the crack of dawn with Eric. She knows that 4:30am is far too early to be up and moving about.
She moans when she stretches while lazing around. It's the cutest thing.
She brings me her toys when she wants to play with me. A ball to throw. A rope to play tug of war with.
She sniffs around like it's going out of style when she goes outside.
It's amazing to me how different she is from Maggie.
She's my baby girl. I call her my baby all of the time. I think she knows she's the baby of the family...
I love her furry face.
So, so much.

fall is falling all around.

A friend told me yesterday to keep documenting my beautiful life.

And so I did just that -

 I picked-up my lonely Nikon and got lost in capturing the beauty of autumn.

Thank you.

september 365+1

a case of the mondays: randomness.

It's been awhile since I've posted some random thoughts here. I've got plenty of them, just haven't been in the frame of mind to post them here lately.

1. And speaking of posting here and on FB and on IG - I sometimes (ok, not sometimes, but often times lately) wonder, "what's the point?" I mean really, FB is just another place where words seem to travel out of my mouth and into a vast pit of nothingness. I sometimes want to say. "Hello out there?.." Really, it's become another place where I feel lost among the masses. And IG - all of those photos out there...I'm not printing any of them, so why am I taking so many with  my phone? And this space - I have so much to say, but I know I can't say half of what I'd like to. So, what's the point in any of it?...

2. Which leads to this second random thought - maybe it's time to bid farewell to FB. My real friends know how to contact me and will take the time to contact me if they want to see what I'm up to. I can't say I missed it the two weeks I was off FB in the summer, and I'm fairly certain noone missed my updates. I've often described FB "conversations" as being with a group of people talking and saying something only to have everyone else just go on talking as if they didn't hear a word I've said. I've experienced this before - try to jump in on a conversation, comment on a post, only to have what I've said fall of deaf ears apparently. Why bother commenting. Why bother posting. As I said above, what's the point in any of it?...

3. I'm still really disappointed that I have put myself out there and offered to do family photos for friends and family in the area and no one has shown any interest. None. Nada. Zip. Zero. No one. You know what that feels like?... It leaves me thinking that everyone just says I take great photos, but they really think otherwise. Actions speak louder than words in my book. And all I'd really love to do is take some lovely photos of some lovely families in the area and edit to my hearts content. And then give those families back a lovely gift to treasure years from now. I see other online/blogging friends doing it and it kills me every time because I know that dream isn't going to happen for me. And I wonder what I'm doing wrong, or if I'm really not that talented. I begin to question it all then - why I even take pictures in the first place. Maybe I'm not that great. Maybe this isn't my talent. Maybe I've got it all wrong.

4. (I realize at this point you're thinking you might want to skip on ahead to the next blog on your list of blogs to read... I never said this random list was going to be full of rainbows and unicorns. Skip on ahead if you so desire...)

5. I'm tired all of the time now. As in - I could go take a two hour nap twice a day - tired. Seizure medication changes will do that to a person. I don't think people get it either, and I really shouldn't expect that by explaining it to them will understand what I mean by sleepy all the time. The only real way to understand would be to have them try the medications. I'm tired of being tired all of the time. It effects my mood and patience. And it no doubt has an effect on Max.

6. I'm beginning to realize that some friends come into your life and serve a purpose for you at that point in time/teach you something, and then quietly exit your life. It's never easy, even when you know it's happening.

7. I know we will move one of these days. Sooner than later I am sure. Part of life in construction work. Do I want to go just anywhere? No. Not at all. Especially not to another small town. And not to the other side of the country. I'm a big city gal. Always will be. I crave the anonymity of a large city. My hope is that in a year or two we will be back in Seattle. Nearer to family that is available to help with Max so that I can go back to school or work.

8. I think it's obvious by now that I've spent far too much time in my own head lately...ruminating, over-thinking, stressing-out. It's hard for me not to do it though. I try to keep busy so I don't think about things going on in my life. Working used to keep all of this at bay. There was no time to think when focused on a project at work. No time to worry about these other life issues. But as a stay-at-home-mom, I find my mind wanders; I over-think, I worry. Cleaning toilets and vacuuming isn't exactly the intellectual stimulation needed to occupy my brain. So I push it deep down in the hopes that I can squash it to death...leave it all behind and never think about those things again. (No, it doesn't work...) It all bubbles back up to the surface. Oddly, and unfortunately, some of these things are the very first things I think of if I wake-up in the middle of the night. And it's always the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. It's like a shadow - haunting me all the time as I desperately try to out-run its grip. 

9. I need something else in my life. Not to say I don't love being a mom and being able to stay home. But most of my work is "doing" for others. I need to do something for me again. Preferably school. Maybe work. I don't know. I do know that I'm craving something more. I need some intellectual stimulation in a desperate way.

That's probably enough deep thoughts for this Monday morning. I realize this may not be real exciting or uplifting - these thoughts of mine. I thought about not sharing them, and deleting this post, but I'm going to be honest in this space. It's my space. I will say what I want to say here. And if people don't like it, they don't have to read. And I'm okay with that.