random tuesday...late night edition.

I don't have anything super exciting to say today. I don't even have any photos to share. I think I've only picked-up my camera once in the past week.
Today I helped out in Max's class while the teacher tested students for end-of-the-year evaluations. It was interesting watching the kids play. Girls and boys play oh-so differently. Amazing to observe. And very fun to watch Max in his element.
The end of the preschool year is upon us. I'm not sure why it ends on May 24th when most of the schools around here don't end till near the end of June. But oh well. We will start our summer early - if the weather ever cooperates. Max is signed-up for Vacation Bible School and one summer camp through the city.
Speaking of weather - it actually cleared-up today. Blue sky and sunshine. And at 8:22pm it was still 60 degrees out. Max and I went for a walk...well, I walked and pushed his trike. We ran into our neighbor's (also my OB - so VERY convenient after having a baby!) mom and her grandkids (does that make sense?...the neighbor's mom watches her kids...I digress...) We all walked around the block and we finally delivered the little girl's long overdue birthday present. From January, folks. Yes, very late. The kids hugged goodbye and the little girl even gave Max a kiss on the cheek.
As we enjoyed the sun, sitting in the driveway drawing with the big chalk, my thoughts were with my neighbor who tragically lost her adult daughter on Sunday. On Mothers Day. In that same house, a little boy had also lost his mother. On Mothers Day. While I was enjoying just another regular Tuesday afternoon, hearts were breaking just right next door. I thought a little bit more about everything I did today. And I couldn't help but wonder what my neighbors were doing while I made dinner and let the dog out and gave Max a bath and read him stories and watched him sleep. Later this week I will bring them a meal and flowers. I will do my best to find some words of comfort. Until then I will pray.

That's all I've got today. I will now drag my tired, sore throat, self to bed.
I promise to have some photos soon.
Goodnight, friends.

he calls me mom.

He used to call me mommy. Not too long ago. But now I am mom.

He's growing up. Too fast.

The nurses called him peanut when he was born. All 4 pounds, 15 ounces of him.

Tiny. My small hand almost covered his entire back.

I rocked him for hours when he was little. Hours.

He wanted to be held all the time.

Now he is four (and almost a half.)

He runs and jumps and dances and sings and makes too much noise some days.

He holds my hand and gives me kisses.

He comes and gets me almost every night. Which drives me crazy, but also secretly makes me happy that he still needs me. Some day he won't need me much, if at all.

Because of you, Max, I am mom.

Thank you for that gift.

Love, Mommy.

living the questions.

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

a mustache and other randoms things.

Funny stuff...
On the way home from the store, out of the blue, Max said to me, "I very want a mustache." I asked, "Who do you know who has a mustache?" Max, "Gda." I suspected he was going to say Gda (my dad). I can't think of any other men in Max's life who have a mustache except Gda. For as far back in my mind that I can remember, my dad has had a mustache. I've seen pictures of him without one, but that's it. The things that kids think of...silly.

Reading...
I've been reading Water for Elephants. Not very far into it yet, but I'm enjoying it so far. Today I stopped by Borders and picked up this book. I read the sample on Kindle on my phone in one evening (the sample isn't very long...). The sample alone spoke to me and I just had to pick-up this book to continue reading! I tend to watch far too much TV (United States of Tara, Nurse Jackie, The Office, Greys, Private Practice...well, you get the idea.)

Hard stuff...
D-day 3 has arrived. It is/was today. May 3rd. Blood draw this morning and now the wait. THE wait. I waited all day to hear back. At 4:30 I couldn't stand it any longer and I called the doctor - only to be told they don't have the results from the lab yet. If I had driven the 20 miles into Portland to their lab, I'd know now. Instead I went to a lab close to home. A decision I will pay for in the form of waiting and not sleeping tonight. My anxiety is through the roof, and all I'd really like to do is have a drink or run (or both) and I can't do either. Seriously. How will I sleep? The rational side of me says - you waited this long; you've waited years...so what's another day? The irrational side of me (in a whiny voice) says - I've waited for years! I need to know now. I thought today was the day I got my answer? I digress... Prayers, friends. I'm not one to reach out for help or ask for favors, but today I ask for prayer for a patient heart and mind, and some sleep tonight.

Happy stuff...
And finally, imagine my shock and utter amazement this morning when I was casually going through blogs I follow on Google Reader on my phone, and found this. My stomach did a little flip and my heart skipped a beat I think. I've posted a handful of photos to the Shutter Sisters 365 group on Flickr, in the hopes that maybe one of my photos would be chosen. But I guess I always figured it was just that - a maybe. I'm not one to get my hopes up too high for anything in my life (that's another long post for another day...). In a weird way that I can't quite explain, it was validation for me. Validation that I am good, that maybe I do know what I'm doing from time to time. Thank you, Shutter Sisters.



Happy Tuesday, friends.
A

dandelions.

Big breath!...



exhale...



and try not to get any in your mouth...



(Not the sharpest photos in the world. I've had a lot of issues with focus lately. I like a shallow depth of field, but then I usually end-up with poor focus overall. Any tips, suggestions, ideas are welcome!)

chalk.

New chalk on a rainy Friday.



Max opened them in the car and said, "They are so beautiful." Oh, the simple joys of childhood. There is such beauty in simple things all around us if we just take the time to really look.

seven.

Seven years ago today I became Mrs. Meisgeier (it's a mouthful, I know. And if you can pronounce it correctly on the first try I will give you a gold star!...)



I married one funny man, and three years later I was blessed with another funny little man in my life.



Happy Anniversary, funny man.
I love you.